Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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