My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
