go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i need an iv and a liver transplant
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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