Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she pinky promised me she was 18
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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