Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
