Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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