dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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