well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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