Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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