so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
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I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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