everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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