I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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