he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
