drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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