"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
