I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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