THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
