God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize