Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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