After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
