i permit you to call me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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