Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
