and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
