One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need moral support for this bender
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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