we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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