How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
