Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
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time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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