i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
