Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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