please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
