It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
