You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
