So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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