We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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