I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
