I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
