just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
