Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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