I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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