there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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