At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize