I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
