I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
