Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
