i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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