so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
