On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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