I want to stick my p in your. b.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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