I love black thongs
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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