Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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