____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
