is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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