Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
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I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
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My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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