I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
