you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
