In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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