She is in my trunk
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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