In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
