how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
