I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
