did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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