I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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