hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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