I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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