My first STD was from a foam party
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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