"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
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I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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