Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
