I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
